Among the traditions that the Arbëresh have preserved are those of the stages of creating a family, among which engagement is of great importance. In ancient times, as described in the writing of Italo Elmos, engagement was performed by the families of young people, regardless of the existence or not of their feelings. As soon as the boy found the bride, through a relative of his, he made a request to the girl’s family, who invited the mediator to the house as “ambassador” or “mbasbaturi” (aftermath) with the term used by the Arbëresh. The marriage proposal could be rejected and this generally happened, either because the girl’s parents did not like the boy, or because he did not have enough moral qualities, or because he did not have much desire to work.

Other times it was the girl herself who opposed the engagement, being in love with another secret suitor. After such rejections, the young man appeared under the girl’s window and recited traditional poems, known as “vjersh di sdegno” in Arbëresh, with the intention of influencing him to rethink once again about his real or imagined defects.